Guest Blog: Where Did They Learn to Do That?

You may have been shocked at the behavior of two California second graders this past week as they experimented in the classroom with some unmentionable behaviors they picked up somewhere else.  The spokesman for the school made it clear that this behavior was not learned at school; the kids brought it with them, he said.

I’d have to agree.

Despite the efforts of some to provide activities at the school for younger and younger children, there is no doubt that parents have the responsibility and the opportunity to provide a wonderful start or a troublemaking presence to the teachers who interit their efforts.  Four or five years of television habits, video games, overheard arguments and neighborhood mischief come packaged with every pre-schooler and kindergartener.  Most come with years of barely supervised daycare experiences where all kinds of interesting vocabulary is shared among household with wildly different values.

Teens don’t learn about guns on campuses where they are prohibited.  They don’t learn about knives and street fighting during supervised play at school.  Teachers often comment about the amazing street knowledge of their youngest students...all learned before they ever darkened the door at school.

It is not enough to be at home with the children.  Someone needs to walk by the bedroom where they play and listen in on the vocabulary and subject of childhood games.  Someone needs to be willing to say no to the violent video games that they insist everyone has.  Someone needs to monitor the wrestling so be sure there is a lid on the level of pain inflicted by so called harmless activity.

It is not enough to monitor what they do.  Someone needs to seek out toys and games that build up the the little tyke’s knowledge and skills.  Someone needs to seek out friends that can have a positive impact on the future activities of the children.  Someone needs to provide good books and reading sessions where children can use their imagination instead of their eyeballs to envision what happened to the hero.

A child who has caring adults in his life who screens out the bad and encourages the good sends a child prepared to learn and prosper at school.  A child with parents who give choices and insist on personal responsibility goes to school willing to work and achieve.  Good parenting prevents peer pressure becasue it teaches kids to stand on their own two feet and make their own decisions.  That means parents must not give a child too much of a good thing.  If parents make all the decisions for their children and never let them exercise harmless choices, they will not raise responsible children who can resist peer pressure.

Schools have their faults.  Communities and media need to stop blaming the schools for what parents have pre-programmed into their own children.

Dr. Crain trains and consults with families, schools, and churches from his Connecting Fathers and Families ministry.  He can be reached at matt@connectingfathers.com.  Website: www.connectingfathers.com